Thursday, July 29, 2010

Tis Better to Have Loved and Lost--Is A Crock of Bull.

Once, a long time ago, I modified that old statement so that it was acceptable to me, but, of course, I can't for the life of me remember what I modified it too.

I admit it, I am a complete cynic. Do I believe in Love (with a capital L), sure! Have I ever been in Love? Once, how do I know? Because he's the only ex-anything I still care for, even still love (without the capital L). But as for love in the future, I guess my response depends on whose asking. Love. huh....

Having been in love, it's like life's greatest regret, the one you can never outrun, forget, or outlive. It's always there, no matter how much you want it to be gone or you tell your now-someone that it's gone, it will never be gone. That person, that time, that ...Love, first, last, somewhere in the middle one changed something that affects every following moment.

Never having been in love however, that, THAT is like the greatest gift in life is still awaiting you; the greatest pleasure, the greatest pain, the greatest moment to be alive. If you've never been in love, you are lucky, you still have it to look forward to.

If you have never had your heart broken, I truly think you may be missing out. The words Exquisite Pain come to mind, a pain so pure and thorough it rips right through you, but nothing else ever makes you Feel as much. I can remember it clear as day, I can still feel it, and you know what? I smile at it. Maybe because I know what it was born of, Love, maybe, maybe for soem other, as-of-yet unfathomable reason.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Must Love Rain

Alaska, known for its darkest of dark nights in the dead of winter, and the sun being up 24/7 in the summer....well summers other than this one at least. So far, I think I have counted 5 'summer' days up here this summer...good news for me, less so for most people I know. Personally I've been enjoying the rain and drizzle and windiness.

For some odd and strange reason, it seems that I get absolutely nothing productive done on those odd summer sunny-shiny days, and an extraordinary amount done on the not-so-summery days.I take this to mean I'm not means for Hawaii or the like.

I have to say this much in defense of the rain to those sun-lovers out there, look around you, have you EVER seen Alaska this GREEN before? Hello, Global Warming, you are very welcome! I remember growing up, Alaska was still green, but it was a brownish, spruce tree type green, not this deciduous green reminiscent of Oregon and Washington. Go figure, plans are finalized for actually Leaving Alaska, and not only do people I know move back UP to Alaska, but the weather begins to edge towards what I like more and more. Sorry my dear state, I will indeed be disappearing as planned, your hold on me is tenuous and fleeting at best, but I will give you this...Beautiful!